Bangalore: While most
companies block access to time consuming activities like Facebook and Twitter ,
NRN has decided to up the ante by blocking access to “The Guru of Distraction”,
a.k.a Google.
In a recently held press conference, the ex-retired chairman of
Infosys,Narayana Murthy (NRN) disclosed his comeback strategy.
“Infosys has been in the limelight for being led by a group of
nincompoops. However I think the company’s deplorable condition is due to
Google” declared a pensive looking NRN. “‘Googling’ is a communicable disease that the
extremely large family of Infintosys is suffering from. Repeatedly using the
obscene acronym GIMF is symptomatic
of suffering from Googleyvitis”
Hoping to kill a flock of birds with one stone, NRN said that blocking
Google would automatically block access to other productivity decreasing
activities like repeatedly playing the Doodle.
In order to reclaim their position on top and once again provide the
most expensive software solutions, NRN
had a brainstorming session. “Some really great ideas like doling out
keyboards which had the letters ‘Ctrl’, ‘C’ and ‘V’ missing were suggested.
However the Human Resource Department pointed out that, crucial words like CV
could not be formed if I went ahead with that move.
Banning Goolge.com has raised significant concern amidst the infy janta.
Says Employee number 123456789abcd (name hidden for H.R purposes) ,”I recently
won the innovation award for the quarter. Saala,
my vote of thanks was dedicated to Google. Without G, I couldn’t have even
compiled my code!”
From the development engineers to
technical support staff everyone is deeply shaken. Says a distressed systems
engineer” How am I supposed to do my job if I can’t even ping google.com?!”
Rohan Murthy who was available for comment via whatsapp, said “I think
appa, is heading in the right direction. Employees ought to go back to the
basics and start using Internet Explorer again” (Sent from my Google Nexus)
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